Top 5 Funny Gifts Guys Actually Want

As guys, it’s not often that we buy anything, which is why when we do, it’s important that we at least buy something hilarious and banter worthy! I personally have only bought a total of 7 things in my life, two of which include my wife and a small pony for transport… it’s fair to say that the other five gifts all changed my life. So – go no further – below is a full and comprehensive list of the top 5 items you will ever need to buy.

5. ‘Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini’

As men, there are often many questions we need answers to but no one we can ask them of… Think of this book as a life guide without the breasts or skills in the kitchen. Why Do Men Have Nipples? answers weird medical questions like “How do people in wheelchairs have sex?” and “Why does asparagus make my pee smell?”

Buy it on Amazon here!

4. Shark With Frickin’ Laser Pointer

Part of a being a man means explaining things clearly and concisely. We all know that all good explanations are done with a laser pointer but finding one that stands out from the crowd is a tough job indeed. This laser pointer is pulled right out of an Austin Powers movie, and it is in the shape of a shark, so it’s a shark with a frickin’ laser on it. Dr. Evil can finally get what he always wanted, and you can use this for presentations or just directing people around in your everyday life!

Grab it on ThinkGeek here!

3. How to Live with a Huge Penis

How To Live With A Huge Penis

This is not a problem for all men, but it’s certainly a problem we all like to complain about. This book provides the chance to share your penis woes with the world. It’s great to leave out on the coffee table, or to have tucked away on a bookshelf for others to stumble upon. It treats the subject matter seriously, giving tips and advice for getting on with big junk.

Check out the book here!

3: Dog Beers Sign

A common problem for many men is that we are often criticised for the quantity of beer we consume – this sign helps to set that all straight. The Dog Beer sign put things into perspective by makes a reference to the difference between dog years and human years, and the difference between drinking one and seven beers.

Grab the sign here…

2: Political Suicide – The Card Game

Every man needs to carry a good card game on him at all times and all men love Politics. Needless to say, I take this game everywhere. Political Suicide provides the perfect chance for you to build up your own repertoire of political jokes while having a laugh reliving history’s most ridiculous moments! In Political Suicide each player has committed three political suicides that they must keep secret at all costs. Do this by legalising your shocking acts of corruption, racism of adultery, or simply distract the opposition with the Panama Papers, a rigged by-election, or a wild Bunga Bunga party.

Check out the game on Etsy here!

It’s also available on Amazon here.

1: Ring for Sex Bell

Ringing a bell for sex bell is a bit like asking your boss for a raise – asking often reduces your chances but you nonetheless have a moral obligation to yourself to try anyway. Think of this bell as a symbol of hope and an elixir for sexual deprivation. If you’re in a failing relationship, this bell could be your last hope for a final stand – ring the thing for the sake of your ding dong grin 😉 Otherwise, if your relationship is going swimmingly, donate this bell to a friend in need – this is the gift I have bought that I never owned myself – I gifted it to a friend who claimed the thing failed on his wife, but he now uses it as an icebreaker on first dates!

Buy the bell here!